*takes a deep breath and prepares to rant*

There's no maybe about it. You're not the only one who fucks up. Look at me. I've fucked up more than you have. I cut myself. I hold grudges both against other people, and myself, for years. It took me how long to get over the Joel/John thing? How long to forgive Aaron for being himself? Solo. You're one of the best people I've ever known. You're a wonderful person.

Yes. You fucked up royally. I'm not saying you didn't. But look around you. You're not infallible, no one is. Everyone makes mistakes, but a mistake only becomes a real error if you don't learn from it. We've talked about this before - you've learned from it. You feel badly about it! If you were a horrible person, a bad person, then you wouldn't care, would you? You'd go tra-la-la-ing on your merry way, not caring if you hurt someone, or if you made a mistake. The fact that it bothers you, that you're guilty about it, that you're even worried about it at all proves what a good person you are.

You realize you're the only one who really has a problem with it anymore? Even Marty admits that he can't hate you anymore. You're the only one who won't let it go. Do you know how much it hurts to know that you're dwelling on it, that because of one mistake, you can't seem to comprehend how great you are. You apparently look at yourself and see a bad person - I look at you, and I see one of my best friends, someone I care about very much.

Let it go. It's over. You can't go back and change what happened. We all have things that we aren't proud of, that we cringe at to hear mentioned, or still squirm with guilt over. It's part of being human - we all make mistakes. Some are worse than others. In the grand scale of things, what you did wasn't really that horrible. I know it feels that way, but believe you me, it isn't. You haven't killed anyone. You haven't caused any horrid, terrible, tragic lasting damage. You made a simple mistake. No one's perfect. If no one fucked up, the concepts of "second chances" wouldn't have been made necessary.

It's not easy. Forgiving yourself when you feel like you don't deserve it is one of the hardest things in the world. And you don't have to do it alone. I'm always here for you, no matter what. Patrick, while he may not understand, would at least listen to you. Cameron, Trevor, hell, even John, Joel, or Aaron would probably listen to you. Sometimes, you have to have help, even if it's just in the form of a shoulder to cry on. God knows I've done enough breaking down on you. At least let me balance the debt. No matter where I am, or what time it is, if you need me, I'm there. Absolutely no matter what.

*hugs* You're going to be okay, if you let yourself. Please, please let yourself.